I'm sorry that I blocked your cock...

Officer Slater

Hey, man, I was doing some research for next year and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. The Vag-Tastic Voyage.

Seth

Evan: Fogell, I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops.
Fogell: Because I fuckin' rule?

Evan: You changed your name to McLovin?
Seth: It doesn't have a first name, it just says McLovin!
Evan: The guys either going think 'here's another guy with a fake ID', or here's McLovin, 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor.
Fogell: I am McLovin.

I don't know if we should be doing anything too official.

Evan

I have a boner!

Fogell

Officer Slater: [talking to Fogell with Officer Michaels in the liquor store after a robbery] May we see your identification?
[Fogell uneasily hands over his fake I.D]
Officer Slater: McLovin?
[Fogell is really nervous]
Officer Slater: [pauses] That's a cool name, man.
Fogell: [amazed that his fake I.D. worked] Wha...
Officer Slater: Yeah, people have weird names nowadays. Once I pulled arrested this man-lady, and his legal first name was "Fuck".
Officer Michaels: He was Vietnamese, so it was probably spelled with a "ph", I dunno.

Officer Slater: Ethnically, was he like uh... uh... African?
Liquor Store Woman: Was he African? He was like you.
Officer Michaels: He's Jewish, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie.

Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well, funny thing about my back, is it's located on my cock.

[talking to Home Ec. Teacher] You know, Home Ec. is a joke. Everyone takes it to just get an A. Not to disgrace your profession or anything. There's three weeks left in school, just give me a fucking break! I'm sorry for cursing.

Seth

Officer Michaels: McLovin?
Officer Slater: [pause] That's such a cool name.
Officer Michaels: I know. It sounds like a sexy hamburger.

Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: You would too... if you were a man.

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Superbad Quotes

I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, "I love my best friend, Evan."

Seth

Officer Michaels: How old are you McLovin?
Fogell: Old enough.
Officer Michaels: Old enough for what?
Fogell: To party.