Becca: [drunkenly making out with Evan] I *so* flirt with you in math.
Evan: Tell me about it. I - same-sies.

Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.

Seth: Its like a three thing... its like ball, dick, ball.
Evan: It's like a division sign... I just wish you would take those off.

Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: Your's would be too... if you were a man.

I'm assuming you all have guns and crack!

Officer Michaels

I'm sorry that I blocked your cock...

Officer Slater

I am gonna give you the best blow J. With my mouth.

Becca

Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam!

Seth

Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing.

Seth

He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.

Seth

Evan: Fogell, I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops.
Fogell: Because I fuckin' rule?

Evan: You changed your name to McLovin?
Seth: It doesn't have a first name, it just says McLovin!
Evan: The guys either going think 'here's another guy with a fake ID', or here's McLovin, 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor.
Fogell: I am McLovin.

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Superbad Quotes

[imitating Becca] Oh Evan, thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. I never would've been able to handle your four inch dick inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube.

Seth

Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.