I don't know if we should be doing anything too official.

Evan

I have a boner!

Fogell

Officer Slater: [talking to Fogell with Officer Michaels in the liquor store after a robbery] May we see your identification?
[Fogell uneasily hands over his fake I.D]
Officer Slater: McLovin?
[Fogell is really nervous]
Officer Slater: [pauses] That's a cool name, man.
Fogell: [amazed that his fake I.D. worked] Wha...
Officer Slater: Yeah, people have weird names nowadays. Once I pulled arrested this man-lady, and his legal first name was "Fuck".
Officer Michaels: He was Vietnamese, so it was probably spelled with a "ph", I dunno.

Officer Slater: Ethnically, was he like uh... uh... African?
Liquor Store Woman: Was he African? He was like you.
Officer Michaels: He's Jewish, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie.

Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well, funny thing about my back, is it's located on my cock.

[talking to Home Ec. Teacher] You know, Home Ec. is a joke. Everyone takes it to just get an A. Not to disgrace your profession or anything. There's three weeks left in school, just give me a fucking break! I'm sorry for cursing.

Seth

Officer Michaels: McLovin?
Officer Slater: [pause] That's such a cool name.
Officer Michaels: I know. It sounds like a sexy hamburger.

Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: You would too... if you were a man.

I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca.

Evan

McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with you penis?

Officer Slater

Ah, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin.

Officer Michaels

You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't of slept with that guy?' We could be that mistake!

Seth

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Superbad Quotes

[imitating Becca] Oh Evan, thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. I never would've been able to handle your four inch dick inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube.

Seth

Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.