I arrested a man-lady who was legally named Phuck.Officer Slater
Oh my God! That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard in my life! Can you tell it again, do you have time?Seth
Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: Breast Reduction Surgery? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back-problems, man.
It's like a division sign.Evan
Becca: I'm so wet right now.
Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in Health Class.
Evan: It's not just making them smaller. They completely reshaped them. They make them more supple, symmetrical.
Seth: I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move.
You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't of slept with that guy?' We could be that mistake!Seth
I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, "I love my best friend, Evan."Seth
Ah, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin.Officer Michaels
McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with you penis?Officer Slater
Officer Michaels: Yeah McLovin, how is it going with the ladies?
Fogell: It's not the "going" I'm worried about... but the "coming."
I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca.Evan