Melanie Carmichael: [gets up to leave] Jake, I can't do this.
Jake: [grabs her arm so she faces him] I know.
[they kiss]
Jake: [eventually pulling away] Go home, Mel.

Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?

Jake

Guys just get a stick, lets play some pool, alright? And if ya can't find a cue just pull the one shoved up her ass.

Bobby Ray

Jake: Whatever blows your dress up, darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money.
Melanie Carmichael: Oh, but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as "our money."
[Jake stops cold]
Melanie Carmichael: Just a guess: The words *joint checking* are flashing in your head right now.

Melanie Carmichael: And don't even pretend like you missed me.
Jake: Oh, I missed you all right, but at this range, my aim is bound to improve.

Jake: What the hell is this? Chick food?
Melanie Carmichael: Light beer. Less calories.

Jake: You show up here, after seven years, without so much as a "Hey there, Jake, remember me... your wife!" Or a, "Hi honey, lookin' good. How's the family?"
Melanie Carmichael: You expect me to tell you look good? What, did they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?

Melanie Carmichael: I forgot how beautiful it is around here.
Bobby Ray: Guess it doesn't take much for you to forget a lot of things.
Melanie Carmichael: Bobby Ray, it's not like that.
Bobby Ray: No I'll tell you what it's not like. It's not like Jake's the only one 'round here that you run out on.

Mayor Kate Hennings: [smacks mosquito] One down, a six million to go.
Earl Smooter: Careful, you just killed the state bird of Alabama!

[after Melanie tells Andrew that she still loves Jake at the wedding] I've never met anyone so manipulative, so deceitful, and I'm in politics.

Mayor Kate Hennings

I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin' me to the cleaners for all I know.

Jake

Honey, just cuz I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid.

Jake

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Sweet Home Alabama Quotes

You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.

Earl Smooter

Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar.

Melanie Carmichael