You dumb stubborn redneck hick.

Melanie Carmichael

Melanie Carmichael: [of Bryant the dog] Can he swim?
Jake: Doesn't look like it.

Jake: [not recognizing Melanie in her sunglasses] Can I help you?
Melanie Carmichael: Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.
Jake: You're shittin' me, right?
Melanie Carmichael: I never fully understood that expression, but no, I am not "shitting" you.

The only reason I ain't signing is cause you've turned into some hoity-toity Yankee bitch, and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off.


Stella: You know for someone whose been holding onto something for so long, you're pretty quick to let it go.
Jake: I can't control her, any more than I can control the weather.

Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce.

Melanie Carmichael

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Sweet Home Alabama Quotes

Mayor Kate Hennings: Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something.
Melanie Carmichael: ["decks" Kate] Nobody talks to my Momma like that!
Earl Smooter: Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!

You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.

Earl Smooter