You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.

Earl Smooter

Mayor Kate Hennings: Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something.
Melanie Carmichael: ["decks" Kate] Nobody talks to my Momma like that!
Earl Smooter: Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!

Young Melanie: What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?
Young Jake: So I can kiss you anytime I want.
[they kiss, and lightening strikes]

Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?

Jake

Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce.

Melanie Carmichael

The only reason I ain't signing is cause you've turned into some hoity-toity Yankee bitch, and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off.

Jake

Jake: [not recognizing Melanie in her sunglasses] Can I help you?
Melanie Carmichael: Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.
Jake: You're shittin' me, right?
Melanie Carmichael: I never fully understood that expression, but no, I am not "shitting" you.

You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl.

Bobby Ray

Melanie Carmichael: [of Bryant the dog] Can he swim?
Jake: Doesn't look like it.

The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.

Melanie Carmichael

Stella: You know for someone whose been holding onto something for so long, you're pretty quick to let it go.
Jake: I can't control her, any more than I can control the weather.

You dumb stubborn redneck hick.

Melanie Carmichael

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Sweet Home Alabama Quotes

You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.

Earl Smooter

Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar.

Melanie Carmichael