Trent: Baby, that was money! Tell me that wasn't money.
Mike: That was so demeaning.
Trent: She smiled, baby.
Mike: I can't believe what an asshole you are.
Trent: Did she, or did she not smile.
Mike: She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
Trent: She was smiling at how money I am, baby.

I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's REALLY hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, a bad man.

Trent

Hey! What're you kicking me for? You want me to ask? All right, I'll ask! Ma'am, where do the high school girls hang out in this town?

Trent

Trent: They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite, you dig that?
Mike: Do you think we'll get there by midnight?
Trent: Baby, we're going to be up five hundy by midnight!
Mike: Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!
Trent: Vegas baby! Vegas!
Mike: Vegas!

How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we fucked. How about that? Would that be money?

Mike

Rob: Those guys are right. You're money.
Mike: Then why won't she call?
Rob: She won't call because you left. She's got her own life to deal with and that's in New York. She's a sweet girl and I love her to pieces, but fuck her, man. You got to get on with your life. You've got to let go of the past Mikey, and when you do, the future is beautiful.

That was so fucking money. That was like the Jedi mind-shit.

Mike

Mike: How did you get over it? I mean, how long did it take?
Rob: Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is man, it's like you wake up everyday and it hurts a little bit less, and you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is that, this is kinda weird, but it's like, it's like, you almost miss that pain.
Mike: You miss the pain?
Rob: Yea, for the same reason you miss her. Because you lived with it for so long.

Sue: People get carjacked.
Trent: Who's gonna carjack your fuckin' K-Car? He's right, Sue, you don't need to carry a gatt!

[playing NHL Hockey for Sega Genesis]
Trent: I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
Mike: What? They don't have fighting anymore?
Trent: Doesn't that suck?
Mike: Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
Sue: I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin' man.
Trent: Yeah, but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one.
Mike: Make somebody's head bleed!
Sue: No man, we're in the playoffs.

She's got her own life to deal with man, and that's in New York. Alright, and she's a sweet girl and I love her to pieces, but fuck her man you gotta get on with your life. You gotta let go of the past, and Mikey when you do, I'm telling ya, the future is beautiful, alright. Look out the window. It's sunny everyday here. It's like manifest destiny, don't tell me we didn't make it, we made it. We are here, and everything that has passed is prologue to this. All of the shit that didn't kill us is only... you know, all that shit. You're gonna get over it.

Rob

Sue: Pause the game.
Trent: Wait, I'm gonna do my thing with the thing.

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Swingers Quotes

I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here.

Trent

Rob: You don't look at the things you have. You only look at the stuff you don't have. Those guys are right about you, you're money.
Mike: Then why won't she call?
Rob: She won't call because you left.