Sue: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs...
Trent: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With THIS, you don't know how to kill the bunny? Do you know what I mean?
Sue: You're like a big bear, man.
Mike: So you're not just, like, fucking with me?
Trent: No, I'm not fucking with you.
Sue: Honestly, man.

Mike: What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? What, in case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
Sue: Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in L.A.
Trent: Anaheim.
Sue: Whatever, man. It's different out here. It's not like New York, Mikey.

Um... a malt Glen Garry for me and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it.

Trent

All I do is stare at their mouths and wrinkle my nose, and I turn out to be a sweetheart.

Trent

They went with someone who had more theme-park experience.

Rob

Mike: Hi, how are you ladies doing this evening?
Girl at the Party: What do you drive?

Haven't you seen Boyz N The Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot.

Mike

Mike: You shouldn't be sorry, you're a winner. I'm the fucking loser. I'm the one who should be sorry.
Trent: Baby don't talk that way.
Mike: Can we just go, please, can we go?
Trent: Baby look at me, look at me. You're money, and you know what else? You're a big winner tonight.
Mike: I want to leave.
Trent: You're a big winner.

Trent: I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo.
Mike: Yeah, well, they're all skanks.
Trent: What are talking about? Look at all the beautiful babies here.
Mike: The beautiful babies don't work the midnight-to-six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift.
Trent: Look at all the beautiful honeys here.

Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Mike: Tomorrow.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Trent: Yeah.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.

Mike: Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something T. Are you listening?
Trent: Yeah, I'm listening.
Mike: I'm not gonna be one of those assholes. Alright? It just makes me sick. It's like, some nasty skank who isn't half the woman my girlfriend is, is gonna front me? It makes me want to fuckin' puke!

There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you're money and that you want to party.

Trent

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Swingers Quotes

I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here.

Trent

Rob: You don't look at the things you have. You only look at the stuff you don't have. Those guys are right about you, you're money.
Mike: Then why won't she call?
Rob: She won't call because you left.