Ricky Bobby: (Thinking he is paralyzed) I hope you have sons! Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons who are talented, and star athletes, and they have their legs taken away! I want you to know that pain!
Lucius: Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don't you put that on us! You are not paralyzed!

God needs the Devil. The Beatles needed The Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric?

Jean Girard

I like to think of Jesus as wearin' a Tuxedo T-Shirt, that says, like, "I want to be formal, but I like to party too." I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party too.

Cal Naughton Jr

Ricky Bobby: Nobody plays jazz at The Pit Stop!
Jean Girrard: Then why is the song on the jukebox?
Bartender: We keep it on there for profiling purposes. We also have the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.

Susan: Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a do-er, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years! And it is good! And you use it! And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky! You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?!
Ricky: Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

Ricky Bobby: From now on, it's Magic Man and El Diablo.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: What does El Diablo mean?
Ricky Bobby: It's like Spanish for like a fighting chicken.

I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

Ricky Bobby

Cal Naughton, Jr.: I had a dream where Jesus was a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he's a dirty old bum, but then I thought, theres something special about him...
Ricky Bobby: Because it was Jesus right...
Cal Naughton, Jr.: yeah..

Ricky Bobby: Wow, I feel like I'm in Highlander.
Jean Girard: What is the Highlander?
Ricky Bobby: It's a movie.
Jean Girard: Oh. Any good?
Ricky Bobby: Very good. It won the Academy Award.
Jean Girard: For what?
Ricky Bobby: For best movie ever made.

Ricky Bobby: What has France ever given America, huh?
Jean Girrard: We invented democracy, existentialism , and the Ménage à trois.
Cal Naughton Jr: Those are three pretty good things, Ricky. Especially that last one

Cal: When you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time, how do you control the volume on the T.V.?
Ricky: Why would you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time?
Cal: Because I like to party.

Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby stars Will Ferrell as the best NASCAR driver in the world. Then, everything changes.

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Talladega Nights Quotes

I like to think of Jesus as wearin' a Tuxedo T-Shirt, that says, like, "I want to be formal, but I like to party too." I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party too.

Cal Naughton Jr

God needs the Devil. The Beatles needed The Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric?

Jean Girard