Susan: Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a do-er, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years! And it is good! And you use it! And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky! You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?!
Ricky: Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?

I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

Cal Naughton, Jr.

Jean Girard: You taste like America.
Ricky Bobby: Thank you.

I wanna thank little baby Jesus, who's sittin' in his crib watchin the Baby Einstein videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors.

Ricky Bobby

Are we gonna get it on now?

Ricky Bobby

Cal Naughton, Jr.: I had a dream where Jesus was a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he's a dirty old bum, but then I thought, theres something special about him...
Ricky Bobby: Because it was Jesus right...
Cal Naughton, Jr.: yeah..

We missed you at the wedding. It was really classy. We had a Styx cover band, and a nacho fountain.

Cal Naughton Jr

You have spilled my macchiato.

Jean Girard

Reese Bobby: So can I help ya?
Ricky Bobby: Fine. I'll do it. But I ain't callin' you Daddy.
Reese Bobby: Well, what are you gonna to call me then?
Ricky Bobby: (Later) All right, Professor Dickweed...

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Talladega Nights Quotes

I like to think of Jesus as wearin' a Tuxedo T-Shirt, that says, like, "I want to be formal, but I like to party too." I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party too.

Cal Naughton Jr

God needs the Devil. The Beatles needed The Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric?

Jean Girard