KG: Go score me a dime-bag.
JB: A what?
KG: Ten dollars worth a *weed*. Now Listen: Go down to Wake & Bake Pizza, ask for Jojo. Tell him you want the Bob Marley Extra Crispy. He'll know what you're talkin' about.
JB: All right dude, roger that. One Extra Crispy comin' up!
[hangs up phone]

JB: What's it gonna be Kyle? You have to decide... Tits... or Destiny.
KG: [Lifting up his shirt] Tits.

JB: Kyle's fingers be silver.
KG: Jack's voice then be gold.
JB, KG: But lest you think we're vain.
JB: We know you're all robots and we don't care! Tenacious D! We reign! Supreme, Oh, God! Burrito supreme, and a chicken supreme, and a cutlass supreme.

[opening lyrics] A long ass fucking time ago, in a town called Kickapoo, there lived a humble family religious through and through. But yay, there was a black sheep, And he knew just what to do. His name was young JB and he refused to step in line. A vision he did see of fucking rocking all the time. He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align.

JB

Girl #2: Excuse me, are you gonna charge us for all the refills?
Truck Stop Waitress: [sarcastically] No, you're so pretty you'll get everything for free.
KG: That's a pretty good deal.

JB: I've had this birth mark since I was born!
KG: I have ass-mark too!

[last lines]
JB: Do not make a sound unless it's a masterpiece. Not a fuckin' sound.
KG: [farts] Thought I felt something.
JB: Let's hear that back.

Go ahead and sleep on the power couch. Your training begins tomorrow, at the crack of noon.

KG

Lee: [after the first show] That was amazing, you guys changed people's lives tonight.
KG: I know, it was so awesome dude.
JB: Yeah, it was awesome, compared to bullshit!

What do you want, 'Non-Rocker'? This line is reserved for 'Rockers Only', so I can't really talk to you right now!

JB

[JB see's his father in the "faces" of the Gig-simulator's crowd] You're nothing but a mistake. I should have worn a condom.

Jack's Father

I looked it up in the dictionary... it wasn't in there.

JB

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Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny Quotes

KG: Go score me a dime-bag.
JB: A what?
KG: Ten dollars worth a *weed*. Now Listen: Go down to Wake & Bake Pizza, ask for Jojo. Tell him you want the Bob Marley Extra Crispy. He'll know what you're talkin' about.
JB: All right dude, roger that. One Extra Crispy comin' up!
[hangs up phone]

Go ahead and sleep on the power couch. Your training begins tomorrow, at the crack of noon.

KG