Jake: My name is Jacob Stein. I'm from the American Federation of Music. I've been sent to see if you gentlemen are carrying your permits.
Tucker McElroy: Our what?
Jake: Your union cards. May I see your cards please?
Tucker McElroy: Well, suppose we ain't got no union cards and go in there and start playin' anyway? Whatcha gonna do about that? You gonna stop us, Stein? Ha. You're gonna look pretty funny tryin' to eat corn on the cob with no fuckin' teeth!

Elwood: We'll be all right if we can just get back on the expressway.
Jake: This don't look like no expressway to me, pal.
Elwood: Don't yell at me.
Jake: Well whadda you want me to do, Motorhead?
Elwood: Why da ya gotta be so negative all the time? Why can't ya offer some... constructive criticism?
Jake: You got us into to this parking lot, pal, so YOU get us out.
Elwood: You want outta this parking lot?... O.K.

Burton Mercer: This, gentlemen, is the elegant abode of one Elwood Blues.
Officer Mount: Yeah, thanks, Mr. Mercer.
Burton Mercer: You know, I kind of like the Wrigley Field bit.
Officer Mount: Yeah, real cute.

Don't you say a fucking word.

Tucker McElroy

Ow, you fat penguin!

Elwood

You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young boys I taught to believe in the Ten Commandments have come back to me as two thieves. With filthy mouths. And bad attitudes. Get out... And don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves...

Sister Mary Stigmata

[to the crowd] We certainly hope you all enjoy the show. And remember, people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are still some things that makes us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody!

Elwood

People, when you do find that special somebody, you gotta hold that man, hold that woman! Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every gentle caress, because it's so important to have that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze, and please!

Elwood

Jake: Disco pants and haircuts...
Elwood: Yeah, lots of space in this mall.

[after shooting at kid] Breaks my heart to see a boy that young goin' bad.

Ray

Reverend Cleophus James: The sad sack was sittin' on a block o' stone/Way over in the corner weepin' all alone/
Curtis: The warden said, "Hey, buddy, don't you be no square / if you can't find a partner use a wooden chair!"
Ray: Let's rock, everybody, let's rock/
Mrs. Murphy: Everybody on the whole cell block / Was dancin' to the Jailhouse rock.

Officer Mount: I don't believe it. It's that shit box Dodge again!
Trooper Daniel: Those bastards are ours now!

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The Blues Brothers Quotes

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

Curtis: Do you guys know 'Minnie the Moocher'?
Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!