Elwood: We'll be all right if we can just get back on the expressway.
Jake: This don't look like no expressway to me, pal.
Elwood: Don't yell at me.
Jake: Well whadda you want me to do, Motorhead?
Elwood: Why da ya gotta be so negative all the time? Why can't ya offer some... constructive criticism?
Jake: You got us into to this parking lot, pal, so YOU get us out.
Elwood: You want outta this parking lot?... O.K.

Mrs. Murphy: We got two honkies out there, dressed like Hasidic diamond merchants.
Matt Murphy: Say what?
Mrs. Murphy: They look like they're from the CIA, or somethin'.
Matt Murphy: What they want to eat?
Mrs. Murphy: The tall one wants white toast, dry, with nothin' on it.
Matt Murphy: Elwood.
Mrs. Murphy: And the short one wants four whole fried chickens, and a Coke.
Matt Murphy: And Jake. Shit, the Blues Brothers.

Jake: My name is Jacob Stein. I'm from the American Federation of Music. I've been sent to see if you gentlemen are carrying your permits.
Tucker McElroy: Our what?
Jake: Your union cards. May I see your cards please?
Tucker McElroy: Well, suppose we ain't got no union cards and go in there and start playin' anyway? Whatcha gonna do about that? You gonna stop us, Stein? Ha. You're gonna look pretty funny tryin' to eat corn on the cob with no fuckin' teeth!

Jake: If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner... every day of the week.
Mr. Fabulous: Okay, okay. You got me. I'll play.

Willie 'Too Big' Hall: I say we give the blues brothers one more chance
Donald 'Duck' Dunn: Why not? If the shit fits, wear it.

Jake: Look at you, in those candy-assed monkey suits.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: At least we got a change of clothes. You're wearing the same shit you had on three years ago.

Anyone with a police record that long is going to make a mistake. I want all party members in the tri-state district to monitor the city, county, and state police on their CB's. Sooner or later, Mr. Elwood Blues is gonna fuck up and when he does... he'd better pray that the police get to him before we do.

Head Nazi

Pardon me, but we have a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray's Music Exchange must be present. Now, may I help you?

Ray

Jake: $2,000 for this chunk of shit?
Murph: I mean, honestly Ray. It's used, there's no action left in this keyboard.
Ray: I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this keyboard.

Don't be lost when the time comes, for the day of the Lord cometh like a thief in the night.

Reverend Cleophus James

And now people. And now people. When I woke up this morning, I heard a disturbing sound. I said when I woke up this morning, I heard a disturbing sound. What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a thousand lost souls, departed from this life.

Reverend Cleophus James

This is glue. Strong stuff.

Elwood

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The Blues Brothers Quotes

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

Curtis: Do you guys know 'Minnie the Moocher'?
Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!