Listen, Lassie, and listen good. I'm not saying he's not gonna get married. I'm not saying he's not gonna have kids. If it does happen, his wife is gonna come home, and find him with his Tiajuana lover clubbing each other with Yanni's greatest hits.

Gary

Arrested for what, baby? For being awesome?

Lupus Grobowski

Gary: I'm the one who should be sorry, Brooke. I shouldn't sit here and pick on your art, because you've got the 'nuts' down, Picasso! All you have to do is cut off your frigging ear.
Brooke: That's Van Gogh, you idiot. Your insults are much more effective when they're accurate.

Brooke: You're crazy.
Gary: No, I'm not crazy and a lot of times people go "Oh that's crazy!" then they go "It's genius!" That's what happened to the person who invented fire. They burned that witch and guess what, then they got warm and they ate good stuff. Now where are we headed to. Let's not make this weird, 'cause I'm not good on dates...

Who loves ya, baby?

Brooke

Gary: Richard did not kick my ass, what Richard did was attack me while I was half asleep.
Brooke: Really? Is that how you see it?

Yea, I completely agree with you. You know, an art teacher of mine once said. Never buy a piece of art that you don't have to have. You know, don't worry about who the artist is or how much it's worth. I mean, you have to live with it everyday. You have to walk by it everyday. You have to really love it; you have to really appreciate it. It's kind of like picking a mate.

Brooke

Gary: What kind of bullshit move was that?
Brooke: I'm sorry, what? What happened?
Gary: Oh don't be coy with me. You sent that animal over here to attack me when I was hung over and weak.
Brooke: Oh no. Look, all I know is The Tone Rangers they needed some place to rehearse so I very clearly told Richard stay in my room, which you explained to me was my space to do with what I want.

Gary: Is that how you want to play it? Cause I'll play it like that. I'll play it like Lionel Richie, all night long, lady. Oh yeah. I'll call some guys from my neck of the woods. And we're not talking about, Brooke, about a couple of queens who know a few grapples. We're talking about Polacks that don't have a goddamn future. That's right. We can make shit real uncomfortable around here, and that's what we're going to do.
Brooke: Please, come on. You know what, you're just embarrassed because Richard kicked your ass.

FREE Movie Newsletter

The Break-Up Quotes

Brooke: My sister has been through a lot...
Gary: ...of dick!

There's a really big gap between getting your ass kicked, and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery, and then strike your throat before you know that you're even in the fight. But I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand that, because all you do is make moves from up in your ivory tower.

Gary