Brendan: Why are your eyes so red?
Francis: Why is your head so bald?

• Permalink: Why are your eyes so red? Why is your head so bald?
• Added: March 31, 2008

Jack: Wouldn't it be great if we heard a train go by in the distance?
Peter: No.
Francis: It'd probably be annoying.

• Permalink: Wouldn't it be great if we heard a train go by in the distance?...
• Added: March 31, 2008

I love the way this country smells. I'll never forget it. It's kind of spicy.

Peter

• Permalink: I love the way this country smells. I'll never forget it. It's ...
• Added: March 31, 2008

Do you want to go in the bathroom and smoke a cigarette with me?

Jack

• Permalink: Do you want to go in the bathroom and smoke a cigarette with me...
• Added: October 16, 2007

[sees children crossing a river] Look at these assholes!

Francis

• Permalink: Look at these assholes!
• Added: October 16, 2007

Rita: What's wrong with you?
Jack: I honestly don't know. I'll tell you the next time I see you.

• Permalink: What's wrong with you? I honestly don't know. I'll tell you t...
• Added: October 16, 2007

Jack: What did he say?
Peter: He said the train is lost.
Jack: How can a train be lost? It's on rails.

• Permalink: What did he say? He said the train is lost. How can a train...
• Added: October 16, 2007

I wonder if the three of us would've been friends in real life. Not as brothers, but as people.

Jack

• Permalink: I wonder if the three of us would've been friends in real life....
• Added: October 16, 2007

I love you too, but I'm gonna mace you in the face!

Jack

• Permalink: I love you too, but I'm gonna mace you in the face!
• Added: October 16, 2007