The Departed Quotes
[after Costigan has quoted Nathaniel Hawthorne] Pfft! What's the matter, smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?Dignam
You have an immaculate record. Some guys don't trust an immaculate record. I do. I have an immaculate record.Ellerby
[to Madolyn] If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, cause I'm not capable. I'm fucking Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life.Colin Sullivan
Frank Costello: Good day, father.
Older Priest: Good day, Francis.
Frank Costello: You recall our chat? Little boys. Sucking on their peckers, etc... and so forth. I am as God made me. Is that your rationale? May I remind you - in this archdiocese, God don't run the bingo.
Young Priest: May I remind you - that pride comes before the fall.
Frank Costello: How's Sister Mary Teresa doing? Had a tasty relationship before she took her vows.
[Costello hands the priests a nude drawing of the nun]
Frank Costello: Enjoy your clams, cocksuckers.
[Upon learning the Police have found Delahunt's body and that he was a cop]
Fitzy: I don't believe it.
Mr. French: What can't you believe?
Fitzy: I spent all fucking night dragging the poor bastard in there. Tell me how they find him so fast? Somebody walking a fucking dog ? What fucking size a dog is that? Has to be a big fucking dog, man. I spent all night doing it man.
[pause, Frank stares at him]
Fitzy: I'm embarrassed. I still don't believe he was a cop, I don't believe it.
Frank Costello: The COPS... are saying he's a cop... so I won't look for the cop. Are you soft, Fitz? When I tell you... to dump a body in the marsh, you dump him *IN* the marsh. Not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday, TO GET A FUCKING BLOWJOB!
[Fitzy laughs, Frank hits him]
Frank Costello: Don't laugh! This ain't Reality TV!
Frank Costello: But Colin - I hope I don't have to remind you that if you don't find that cheese-eating rat bastard in your department, most likely it won't be me who suffers for it.
Colin Sullivan: Now why would you have to remind me of that? Would I be any good at what I do if I didn't fucking already know that? Frank, you gotta trust me. Alright, just trust me Frank. Hey, it fucking involves lying and I'm pretty fucking good at that. Right?
Frank Costello: Maybe because it's always been so easy for me to get cunt, that I never understood jacking off in a theater.
Colin Sullivan: Frank? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Frank Costello: [laughing] See anything you like, Colin?
Colin Sullivan: I almost fucking shot you!
Frank Costello: You're not indulging in self-abuse, are you? I hope you're not turning into one of them sob sisters who wants to get caught. You're not cracking up, are you?
Colin Sullivan: I don't crack up.
Frank Costello: Picking a place like this, where any cop can see you. Jesus.
Colin Sullivan: If it was such a fucking bad idea, why'd you show up?
Frank Costello: [turning to face Sullivan] I own the place.
Colin Sullivan: Look, I gotta tell you...
Frank Costello: You're getting re-assigned. I know.
Colin Sullivan: How the fuck do you know that?
Frank Costello: Where'd they put you?
Colin Sullivan: Hey Frank, I gotta find myself.
Frank Costello: You're telling me, sonny boy.
Colin Sullivan: I gotta find the guy you got in the department.
Frank Costello: With everybody looking up their own ass, and you looking for yourself, I'd put my money on nobody finds nothing.
Frank Costello: I'm going to have my associate search you.
Billy Costigan: No, no one's fucking searching me. Searching me for what?
Frank Costello: Contra-fucking-band. Take your shoes off.
[French slams Costigan into a chair]
Mr. French: Shoes.
Frank Costello: [to Costigan] I knew your father.
Billy Costigan: Yeah? You know he's dead?
Frank Costello: Oh, sorry. How'd he go?
Billy Costigan: He didn't complain.
Frank Costello: Yeah, that was his problem.
Billy Costigan: Who said he had a problem?
Frank Costello: I just said he had a fucking problem. There's a man who could have been anything.
Billy Costigan: Are you trying to say he was nothing?
[French slams Costigan onto a pool table and continues his search]
Frank Costello: I'm saying he worked at the airport.
Frank Costello: You know, if your father were alive, and saw you here sitting with me, let's say he would have a word with me about this. In fact, he'd kill seven guys just to cut my throat, and he could do it. That's maybe something you don't know about William Costigan, Sr.
Billy Costigan: So he never? I mean, never?
Frank Costello: No. He kept his own counsel. He never wanted money. You can't do anything with a man like that. You're Uncle Jackie - he also would kill my entire fucking family if he saw me here with you. And I think about this.
Frank Costello: Have a seat, Bill.
[Costigan sits down at Costello's dinner table]
Frank Costello: [while eating crab] Do you know John Lennon?
Billy Costigan: Yeah, sure, he was the president before Lincoln.
Frank Costello: Lennon said, "I'm an artist. You give me a fucking tuba, I'll get you something out of it."
Billy Costigan: [sarcastically] Well I tell you Mr. Costello, I'd like to squeeze some fucking money out of it.
Frank Costello: Smart mouth. Too bad. If you'll indulge me...
[sees Gwen leaving]
Frank Costello: Now what?
Gwen: Choir practice.
Frank Costello: [annoyed] Choir practice.
[Costello pulls out a severed human hand]
Frank Costello: The point I'm making with John Lennon is - a man could look at anything, and make something out of it. For instance, I look at you and I think "what could I use you for?"
Billy Costigan: Listen, listen. I got like, like thirty thousand bucks, right? Insurance money. You know, after my mother passed and everything?
Cousin Sean: Yeah, yeah.
Billy Costigan: In your line of work, if I gave you like what, ten thousand, what could I get back?
Cousin Sean: You know... you know what you usually say at these moments?
Billy Costigan: What? What?
Cousin Sean: C'mon, man.
Billy Costigan: Aw, come on, you fucking moron. Come on. What, you want me to say it? Huh? I'm not a cop, alright? I'm your fucking cousin.
Cousin Sean: Yeah, you're bad! You corrupt fuck, man! You must be my cousin.
I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying - we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn't get a fucking job, we had the presidency. May rest in peace. That's what the niggers don't realize. If I got one thing against the black chappies, it's this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it.Frank Costello