Tom: You told me that it was gonna be two years. It's sort of like when you're on a treadmill, and you tell yourself "I want to run five miles today" and now, it's forever miles...
Violet: When was the last time you were on a treadmill? Sorry...

Rabbi: Of course, the men will wear yarmulkes...
Tom: Definitely, I'll wear mine...
Violet: Babe, you don't have a yarmulke...
Tom: I have a whole...it's in my... my Jewish drawer.

This is supposed to be exciting. This is your wedding. You only get a few of these.

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer

Sylvia: Any ideas when this wedding might happen? Grandparents do have a tendency to die.
Violet: Mom, they're all right there.
Sylvia: Well, for now...

There is no perfect cookie!

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer

It feels like I'm drinking out of Chewbacca's Dick!

Alex Eilhauer

Tom: We both know I deserve to get super laid for this.
Violet: Do you want me to wear a cape or something?
Tom: I want the show.
Violet: You get the Cirque du Soleil of shows...

To Tom and Violet! (Raises a toast) One assumes that everything is going to turn out like some romantic comedy, but most engagements end up like Saving Private Ryan. Good luck. God knows you're going to need it.

Sylvia

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The Five-Year Engagement Quotes

There is no perfect cookie!

Suzie Barnes-Eilhauer

Tom: We both know I deserve to get super laid for this.
Violet: Do you want me to wear a cape or something?
Tom: I want the show.
Violet: You get the Cirque du Soleil of shows...

The Five-Year Engagement Review

The Five-Year Engagement re-teams Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s screenwriting team (Jason Segel and Nick Stoller), star (Segel), producer...

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