Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about.

Matthew

Matthew: Why didn't you just tell me?
Danielle: Because I didn't want to! Because I loved the way you looked at me. You don't understand how hard...
Matthew: Wait!
Danielle: Fuck you.

Okay, people, let's make some fuckie fuckie.

Kelly

Those crazy little fuckers man, they sure know their numbers.

Kelly

Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... The three legs of the tripod. My business partner. My student advisor. The next Einstein. Eli's calling card. Klitz's big debut. My own scholarship to Georgetown. And of course, I'll never forget the girl next door. As for me, I'm just going with it.

Matthew

Eli: Dude, don't mess this up.
Matthew: Mess what up?
Eli: Matt, she's a porn star! Okay? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!
Matthew: Eli, I like this girl.
Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her.

Matthew: It's not funny.
Danielle: It's a little funny.

Kelly: Hey, you know who's got the killer bud?
[hits Klitz]
Kelly: This fucker right here.

Eli: Dude!
Matthew: I know.
Klitz: Dude!
Matthew: I know.

Eli: Okay, you know what the three of us are? We're a tripod.
Matt: A tripod?
Eli: Yes, a tripod. Which means that if you knock out one of our legs... WE. ALL. FALL!

Mr. Peterson: [while getting lap dance] So, what was the scholarship for?
Matthew: Moral fiber.

April: Is your name really Clitz?
Klitz: Yeah, with a K.

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The Girl Next Door Quotes

Matthew: It's not funny.
Danielle: It's a little funny.

Excuse me.
[makes out with Danielle]

Matthew