Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about.


Matthew: Why didn't you just tell me?
Danielle: Because I didn't want to! Because I loved the way you looked at me. You don't understand how hard...
Matthew: Wait!
Danielle: Fuck you.

Eli: Dude, don't mess this up.
Matthew: Mess what up?
Eli: Matt, she's a porn star! Okay? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!
Matthew: Eli, I like this girl.
Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her.

Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... The three legs of the tripod. My business partner. My student advisor. The next Einstein. Eli's calling card. Klitz's big debut. My own scholarship to Georgetown. And of course, I'll never forget the girl next door. As for me, I'm just going with it.


Okay, people, let's make some fuckie fuckie.


Those crazy little fuckers man, they sure know their numbers.


Matthew: It's not funny.
Danielle: It's a little funny.

Kelly: Hey, you know who's got the killer bud?
[hits Klitz]
Kelly: This fucker right here.

What's the craziest thing you've done lately?


Danielle: Ooh, boxers.
Matthew: I always wear boxers. You just caught me on a weird day.

Karate Guy in Porno: Oooh, excellent, grasshopper. And now for your final task of your training.
Danielle: You're gonna need a harder piece of wood that that, cowboy.
Matthew: That's not her.
Eli: Yeah, it is.
Matthew: Oh, no.

Eli: Dude!
Matthew: I know.
Klitz: Dude!
Matthew: I know.

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The Girl Next Door Quotes

Hey, you guys know Matty? I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits.


[to Samnang] You better cure cancer, kid.