Mr. Peterson: [while getting lap dance] So, what was the scholarship for?
Matthew: Moral fiber.

Hey, you guys know Matty? I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits.


Ferrari: Your name is Klitz?
Klitz: With a K.

You wanna be president? Lemme tell you the first rule of politics; Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl unless you're ready to accept the consequences.


April: Is your name really Clitz?
Klitz: Yeah, with a K.

Excuse me.
[makes out with Danielle]


Matthew: [high] Heyyy, it's my competition! Ryan, what's up my man?
Ryan: Jesus, what happened to you?
Matthew: Just living life, my man.

Danielle: Thank you.
Matthew: For what?
Danielle: I never went to prom.

Matthew: Hey, there's the big daddy!
Dr. Salinger: Matthew, what has been going on?
Matthew: Some serious shit.

Kelly: Sometimes in life if you wanna do something good, you gotta do something bad.
Matthew: Yeah, but this is breaking and entering.
Kelly: This is politics.

[to Klitz] I know this isn't professional, but I think you're really cute.


Mrs. Kidman: Eli, do those girls go to your school?
Eli: Actually, no, Mrs. Kidman, they're porn stars.

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The Girl Next Door Quotes

Those crazy little fuckers man, they sure know their numbers.


Matthew: It's not funny.
Danielle: It's a little funny.