Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about.

Matthew

Hey, you guys know Matty? I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits.

Kelly

[to Klitz] I know this isn't professional, but I think you're really cute.

April

Mrs. Kidman: Eli, do those girls go to your school?
Eli: Actually, no, Mrs. Kidman, they're porn stars.

Dude, am I ugly?

Klitz

Kelly: Hey, you know who's got the killer bud?
[hits Klitz]
Kelly: This fucker right here.

I'm in so much trouble.

Matthew

Matthew: Hey, there's the big daddy!
Dr. Salinger: Matthew, what has been going on?
Matthew: Some serious shit.

Matthew: [high] Heyyy, it's my competition! Ryan, what's up my man?
Ryan: Jesus, what happened to you?
Matthew: Just living life, my man.

Kelly: Sometimes in life if you wanna do something good, you gotta do something bad.
Matthew: Yeah, but this is breaking and entering.
Kelly: This is politics.

Minions!

Eli

You wanna be president? Lemme tell you the first rule of politics; Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl unless you're ready to accept the consequences.

Kelly

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The Girl Next Door Quotes

Those crazy little fuckers man, they sure know their numbers.

Kelly

Matthew: It's not funny.
Danielle: It's a little funny.