K as in Knife.

Alan

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First I lost my monkey, and now my hat. Could this day get any worse?

Alan

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I was gonna have you sing 'Burn it Up' by the Jonas Brothers, but then I remembered you don't like Indie music.

Alan

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Phil: You're not my friend!
Alan: Don't say that Phil, are you serious? Even in America!?
Stu: You're the bearded devil!

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Phil: You ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff, Chow?
Mr. Chow: I'm an international criminal, it always ends like this.

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Phil: "Stu Come on, Get up. We got a situation"
Stu: "Where are we"
Phil: "You're gonna freak out, but its gonna be ok."
[Stu checks mirror and screams]
"This is a real tattoo!"
Stu: "Alan what did you do? Did you roofie me?
Alan: I didn't do anything

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Phil: "It happened again."
Tracy: "Seriously, what is wrong with you three?"

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Phil: Chow! What are you doing here?
Alan: He's my plus one
Chow: We had a sick night bitches

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Stu: "You got shot!"
Phil: "Am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor."
[Stu looks at the gunshot wound and screams]

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"All I wanted was a breakfast brunch."

Stu

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