Doug: I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em groundies.
Alan Garner: Or rapies.

• Permalink: I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you're mor...
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Phil Wenneck

• Permalink: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask y...
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras or Halle Berry in her cat woman suit.

Stu Price

• Permalink: What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze? Do...
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

See you later, gay boys!

Mr. Chow

• Permalink: See you later, gay boys!
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Don't you worry your pretty stripped head were gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. Then were gonna find our best friend Doug and then were gonna give him a best friend hug... Doug Doug, Dougie, Doug, Doug.

Stu Price

• Permalink: Don't you worry your pretty stripped head were gonna get you bac...
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

So long, gay boys!

Mr. Chow

• Permalink: So long, gay boys!
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

It's got, ah, Ted Danson and Magnum P.I. and that Jewish actor...

Alan Garner

• Permalink: It's got, ah, Ted Danson and Magnum P.I. and that Jewish actor.....
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.

Alan Garner

• Permalink: It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Oh, you know what? Next week's no good for me... The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine.

Alan Garner

• Permalink: Oh, you know what? Next week's no good for me... The Jonas Broth...
• Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

That's right, keep steppin'. I'll hit an old man in public!

Alan Garner

• Permalink: That's right, keep steppin'. I'll hit an old man in public!
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.

• Permalink: Tracy, it's Phil. Phil, where the hell are you guys? We lost...
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

...I'm a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, i won't ever ever speak a word of it. Seriously. I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone.

Alan Garner

• Permalink: ...I'm a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, i won't ever ever...
• Rating: 4.4 / 5.0