[repeatedly singing] And we're the three best friends that anyone could have!

Alan Garner

• Permalink: And we're the three best friends that anyone could have!
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Alan Garner: Can I ask you another question?
Lisa: Sure.
Alan Garner: You probably get this a lot. This isn't the real Caesar's Palace is it?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: Did, umm... did Caesar live here?
Lisa: No.
Alan Garner: I didn't think so.

• Permalink: Can I ask you another question? Sure. You probably get this ...
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Stu Price: Here's something I would like to remind you two of: our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now with a meth head butt-fucking his corpse!
Alan Garner: That's highly unlikely.

• Permalink: Our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now ...
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Woman in Elevator: Oh, how cute! What's his name?
Phil Wenneck: Ben.
Alan Garner: Carlos.

• Permalink: Oh, how cute! What's his name? Ben. Carlos.
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[In the wedding]
Alan Garner: How's my hair?
Stu Price: That's good.
Alan Garner: It's cool like Phil's?
Stu Price: It's classic Phil.

• Permalink: How's my hair? That's good. It's cool like Phil's? It's class...
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Phil Wenneck: God damn it!
Alan Garner: Gosh darn it!
Phil Wenneck: Shit!
Alan Garner: Shoot!

• Permalink: God damn it! Gosh darn it! Shit! Shoot!
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Hey you guys ready to let the dogs out?

Alan Garner

• Permalink: Hey you guys ready to let the dogs out?
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What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras or Halle Berry in her cat woman suit.

Stu Price

• Permalink: What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze? Do...
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Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.

Sid Garner

• Permalink: Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpe...
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Stu Price: Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?
Alan Garner: Yes.

• Permalink: Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza? Yes.
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Phil Wenneck: Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question. Who's this?
Doug Billings: It's Alan. Tracy's brother.
Alan Garner: I met you like four times.
Phil Wenneck: Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?

• Permalink: Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another qu...
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Doc, none of us could remember anything from last night. Remember?

Alan Garner

• Permalink: Doc, none of us could remember anything from last night. Remembe...
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