
Popular The Hangover Quotes
Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.
Sid Garner
Sid Garner: Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
Doug Billings: Understood.
Sid Garner: Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.
So long, gay boys!
Mr. Chow
I have this cousin Marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind I want to make sure I never ever miss out on a Haley's comet.
Alan Garner
Stu Price: You do know counting cards is illegal, right?
Alan Garner: It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon. Like masturbating in an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal, too.
Stu Price: He was a bartender, and he didn't even come inside her.
Phil Wenneck: And you believe that?
Stu Price: Uh yeah, because she's grossed out by semen!
It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.
Alan Garner
Phil Wenneck: Stu, we don't have time for this. Look, let's go hook up with Doug, and we'll deal with the baby later.
Stu Price: Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!
Phil Wenneck: It's not our baby.
Alan Garner: Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one.
Who does shit like that?
Mike Tyson
Stu Price: You are literally too stupid to insult.
Alan Garner: Thank you.
Tigers love pepper.
Alan Garner
Alan Garner: [while picking up a friend at the school where he works] Did you have to park this close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, why?
Alan Garner: I just... I can't be here.
Doug Billings: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a church... or a Chuckeee Cheeze.