That's my grandma's ring. She made it all the way through the holocaust with that thing. It's legit.

Stu Price

Alan Garner: [after learning the hotel room they had reserved only had 2 beds] Two beds is enough, we can share for a night. I'll bunk with Phil. That cool with you?
Phil Wenneck: No.

[repeatedly singing] And we're the three best friends that anyone could have!

Alan Garner

Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child!

Stu Price

Hey man I can be your Doug!

Black Doug

Stu Price: We don't want to call attention to ourselves!
Phil Wenneck: [while driving a squad car on the sidewalk and using the loudspeaker] Attention! Attention!

Phil Wenneck: God damn it!
Alan Garner: Gosh darn it!
Phil Wenneck: Shit!
Alan Garner: Shoot!

[In the wedding]
Alan Garner: How's my hair?
Stu Price: That's good.
Alan Garner: It's cool like Phil's?
Stu Price: It's classic Phil.

Stu Price: That is not Doug.
Mr. Chow: What're you talking about, Willis? That him!
Stu Price: No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow, that's not our friend, he... it's...
Alan Garner: The Doug we're looking for is a white.

Stu Price: Fuck!
Alan Garner: Your language is offensive.

Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.

Sid Garner

Woman in Elevator: Oh, how cute! What's his name?
Phil Wenneck: Ben.
Alan Garner: Carlos.

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The Hangover Quotes

Stu Price: Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?
Alan Garner: Yes.

Alan Garner: Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper.
Lisa: I'm not sure.
Alan Garner: Is there a payphone bank? Buncha payphones? Business.
Lisa: Umm, there's a phone in your room...
Alan Garner: That'll work.