[after ripping the guy's ponytail off] You think you're so cool 'cause you can pee with your penis. Get a new conditioner, your ends are totally SPLIT!

Jessica (in Clive's body)

Just remember, you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.

Bathroom Attendant

Jessica (in Clive's body): Hildenburg, I'm sorry I humiliated you in front of the whole school and the visiting eighth graders, but you have no idea what it's like... to wake up every morning... and have to shave your chin.
Hildenburg: [crying] Yes, I do.

Ling Ling, you forgot your bling bling.

Korean Mother

Out of all the Korean liquor stores, why did my dad have to walk into that one?

Ling Ling

Clive (in Jessica's body): I'll make you a deal. You just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, OK. Then, I'll give you your body back because it soooo important to you.
[mockingly]
Clive (in Jessica's body): Waa waa I'm crying about my body... And then, you can just loan it to me every other weekend so I can pay off some gambling debts.

You can put your weed in there.

Bongo Player

I wish my momma bought me some bling-bling.

Venetia

Korean Mother: Ling Ling. You forgot lunch, baby bie. Chicken back with five vegetable, bulgogi and kim chee.
Ling Ling: [embarassed] Thanks... mom.
Korean Mother: Ok. You all learn real good now!

Korean Mother: Ling-Ling, You walk right by Crazy Nail. No say hi me.
Ling Ling: Hi mom.

You know, they should come with a warning. Earrings may come with *penis!*

Jessica (in Clive's body)

April: So... do you really have a penis?
Jessica (in Clive's body): I don't think you get the gravity of the situation here.
April: Can I see it?
Jessica (in Clive's body): April!
April: Sorry... can I see it?
[Jessica gives April a dirty look]
April: Come on, it's not every day that your best friend grows a penis.

FREE Movie Newsletter

The Hot Chick Quotes

[after ripping the guy's ponytail off] You think you're so cool 'cause you can pee with your penis. Get a new conditioner, your ends are totally SPLIT!

Jessica (in Clive's body)

Just remember, you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.

Bathroom Attendant