John Bridger: How are you?
Charlie Croker: [shrugging] I'm fine.
John Bridger: Fine? You know what "fine" stands for, don't you?
Charlie Croker: Unfortnately, yeah.
John Bridger: Freaked out...
Charlie Croker: Insecure...
John Bridger: Neurotic...
Charlie Croker: And Emotional.
John Bridger: You see those pillars over there?
Charlie Croker: [looks behind him and sees the pillars] What about them?
John Bridger: That's where they used to string up thieves who felt fine.
Charlie Croker: After you.

I trust everyone. It's the devil inside them I don't trust.

Stella Bridger

Lyle: I'm getting a NAD T770 digital decoder with 70-watt amps and Burr-Brown DACs.
Left Ear: [confused] Yeah...
Lyle: It's a big stereo. Speakers so loud, they blow women's clothes off!
Handsome Rob: Now you're talking!

Lyle: [Handsome Rob approaches Becky, the cable technician, in the parking lot. Lyle watches, amazed] Are you kidding me? How does he do that? How do you do that? What are you saying?
[Lyle narrates the conversation with alternating Handsome Rob and ditzy female voices]
Lyle: [speaking as Handsome Rob] Hey, how are you?
Lyle: [speaking as Becky] Oh, I'm good!
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Nice to meet you. I'm Handsome Rob. And you are?
Lyle: [Becky] Oh, my name's Becky, but it's written on my shirt!
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Listen, I'm gonna need your shirt, and your truck.
Lyle: [Becky] Perfect! I'll give them both to you. Would you like my virginity as well?
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] If it's on the menu.
Lyle: [Becky] Oh, you're so witty! Why don't you take advantage of me?
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Yeah, you're not too bright, are you?
Lyle: [Becky] No.
Lyle: [Handsome Rob] Perfect.

Lyle: And then he's just the media darling... He's on the cover of all the magazines, I should of been on the cover of wired magazine. you know what he said? he said he named it Napster because it was his nickname because of the nappy hair under the hat. But he, It's because I was NAPPING when he STOLE it from me. He didn't even graduate.
Handsome Rob: I think it's time to move on, don't you? They shut him down, I wish they would do the same to you.

Left Ear: This dude got dogs. I don't do dogs... I had a real bad experience, man.
Charlie Croker: What happened?
Left Ear: I had. A bad. Experience. Damn it. "I'm" deaf.

Stella Bridger: I don't go out with strange men. I just met you 5 minutes ago.
Steve: What, I'll just have to sabotage my cable till we get to know each other better?

John Bridger: I'm sending you something.
Stella Bridger: Does it smell nice?
John Bridger: No. But it's sparkly.
Stella Bridger: [sounding slightly angry] Does it have a receipt?

Handsome Rob: Come on, Charlie. They were at the same college at the same time.
Charlie Croker: Why are you encouraging this?

Charlie Croker: We set?
Lyle: Yeah. I've enhanced the viewing matrix to track both the Cartesian coordinates and three altitude angles to give the exact position and orientation of our baby.
Left Ear: We're in Italy. Speak English.

Stella Bridger: What did you do to your hand?
Charlie Croker: I punched Steve.
Stella Bridger: Well, why do you get to punch him and I don't?
Charlie Croker: Because those hands are way too valuable.

Stella Bridger: You know this was never about the gold.
Steve: What ever helps you sleep at night sweetheart.
[Stella punches Steve]

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The Italian Job Quotes

John Bridger: How are you?
Charlie Croker: [shrugging] I'm fine.
John Bridger: Fine? You know what "fine" stands for, don't you?
Charlie Croker: Unfortnately, yeah.
John Bridger: Freaked out...
Charlie Croker: Insecure...
John Bridger: Neurotic...
Charlie Croker: And Emotional.
John Bridger: You see those pillars over there?
Charlie Croker: [looks behind him and sees the pillars] What about them?
John Bridger: That's where they used to string up thieves who felt fine.
Charlie Croker: After you.

If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother in-laws and, mother freaking Ukrainians.

Skinny Pete