If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother in-laws and, mother freaking Ukrainians.

Skinny Pete

Charlie Croker: A police boat can get from the station to our position in seven. That means you've got four minutes to work your magic.
John Bridger: What? You told me ten and you said that I would have five.
Charlie Croker: [slightly panicking] When?
[John smiles and then chuckles]
Charlie Croker: [sighs with relief] Do not be messing with me right now. I will kick your ass.

Charlie Croker: [playing basketball with Handome Rob when his phone rings] Hello?
Stella: I want to see the look on that man's face when his gold is gone. He took my father from me, I'm taking this.
[hangs up]
Charlie Croker: [to Handsome Rob] She's in.

Me? I've been a thief since I had baby teeth.

Charlie Croker

Steve: How about dinner?
Stella Bridger: You ask your last cable repair guy out to dinner?
Steve: No. But he had a handlebar mustache and weighed like 300 pounds.

You've got no imagination. You couldn't decide what to do with all that money, so you had to get what everybody else wanted.

Charlie Croker

Steve: You blew the best thing you had going for you. You blew the element of surprise.
[Charlie punches Steve]
Charlie Croker: Surprised?

I am The Napster.

Lyle

[Lyle isn't answering Charlie's calls]
Handsome Rob: He only answers to "The Napster" now, Charlie
Charlie Croker: Oh, no. I am not calling you The Napster.
Lyle: Why not? You call him Left Ear.
Left Ear: Well, I am.
Lyle: And him Handsome Rob.
Charlie Croker: Well, that's because he is Handsome Rob!

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The Italian Job Quotes

John Bridger: How are you?
Charlie Croker: [shrugging] I'm fine.
John Bridger: Fine? You know what "fine" stands for, don't you?
Charlie Croker: Unfortnately, yeah.
John Bridger: Freaked out...
Charlie Croker: Insecure...
John Bridger: Neurotic...
Charlie Croker: And Emotional.
John Bridger: You see those pillars over there?
Charlie Croker: [looks behind him and sees the pillars] What about them?
John Bridger: That's where they used to string up thieves who felt fine.
Charlie Croker: After you.

If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother in-laws and, mother freaking Ukrainians.

Skinny Pete