Ned Plimpton: I'm gonna fight you, Steve.
[Steve hits Ned in the face]
Steve Zissou: You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
Ned Plimpton: You fight your way, and I'll fight mine.
Steve Zissou: Okay, listen, Ned. Don't you try to...
[Ned hits Steve in the face]
Steve Zissou: I think your Team Zissou ring might've caught me on the lip.

Bill Ubell: Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities...
Steve Zissou: Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.

Vladimir Wolodarsky: Steve, one of the interns just fell down the stairs with the main tracking processor.
Steve Zissou: All right, just make sure we steal the backup.

Good lord. God protect that poor little stooge.

Oseary Drakoulias

I don't have a problem with objective reporting. What I have a problem with is some wombat... coming on my boat trying to railroad me.

Oseary Drakoulias: By the way, who knocked up the journalist?
Steve Zissou: I'm not sure.

Don't be mean to me. I just wanted to flirt with you.

Is that one of mine? I think one of my research turtles survived.

Alistair Hennessey

Vladimir Wolodarsky: [talking about Jane] I like her hairdo.
Pelé dos Santos: Me too, but Steve called her first.

Anne-Marie Sakowitz: I think it's criminal that Steve allowed this to happen, by which I mean illegal. We're being led on an illegal suicide mission by a selfish maniac.
Klaus Daimler: I hear what you're saying, but I think you misjudge the guy.

Ned Plimpton: Who locked us out?
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No-one, we're trespassing.
Ned Plimpton: Steve, are we allowed in here?
Steve Zissou: It's a scientific community, man.

Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
Ned Plimpton: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?

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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Quotes

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.

Steve Zissou

Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.

Steve Zissou