Bill Ubell: Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities...
Steve Zissou: Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.

Steve Zissou: We'll split into two groups. I'll take Ned, Ogata, and Wolodarsky.
Klaus Daimler: Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.

Ned Plimpton: I'm gonna fight you, Steve.
[Steve hits Ned in the face]
Steve Zissou: You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
Ned Plimpton: You fight your way, and I'll fight mine.
Steve Zissou: Okay, listen, Ned. Don't you try to...
[Ned hits Steve in the face]
Steve Zissou: I think your Team Zissou ring might've caught me on the lip.

Festival Director: [translating] That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Steve Zissou: Revenge.

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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Quotes

Jane Winslett-Richardson: [about her baby] In twelve years, he'll be eleven and a half.
Steve Zissou: [pause] That was my favorite age.

Ned Plimpton: Stevesy, what's going on? Are those hijackers?
Steve Zissou: Well, out here we call them "pirates," Ned.