Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.

We swam with the... Oh damn, I had it on the plane.

Oseary Drakoulias

Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.

Eleanor Zissou: Oh, Shit. What do you want?
Steve Zissou: Do you mind if I buddy up a little before I answer that question?
Eleanor Zissou: Yes, I do. Tell me now.
Steve Zissou: [takes a deep breath] I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?
Eleanor Zissou: No.
Steve Zissou: Okay. Could I go ahead and buddy up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.

We've never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm half gay.

Alistair Hennessey

Alistair Hennessey: Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine?
Bill Ubell: Well... uh... we fuckin' stole it, man.

Jane Winslett-Richardson: Are we - are we safe in here?
Steve Zissou: I doubt it.
Klaus Daimler: Do you still want to blow him up?
Steve Zissou: No, we're out of dynamite anyway.
Eleanor Zissou: It is beautiful Steve.
Steve Zissou: Yea, it's pretty good isn't it... I wonder if it remembers me...

Klaus Daimler: So, you really think you're a Zissou.
Ned Plimpton: I don't know.
Klaus Daimler: Well, you traveled a long way for "I don't know," sonny.
Ned Plimpton: That's true. But it's important to me.
Klaus Daimler: Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things that are important to some people around here, sonny.
Ned Plimpton: Klaus, don't call me "sonny."
Klaus Daimler: And one more thing: It's the Steve Zissou show, not the Ned show.

Steve Zissou: I wanted to give you a heads-up on what I thought of the piece...
Jane Winslett-Richardson: You read it. What did you think?
Steve Zissou: Well, I was a little upset at first. I mean, obviously people are going to think I'm a showboat, and a little bit of a prick. But then I thought... that's me. I said those things, I did those things. I can live with that. You're a good writer, Jane.
Jane Winslett-Richardson: It's the effing cover.
Steve Zissou: Thatta girl.

Steve Zissou: This bull dyke's got something against us.
Ned Plimpton: I don't think she's a lesbian. She's pregnant.

Oseary Drakoulias: I spoke with Larry Amin, and it's a pass.
Steve Zissou: In other words, you fucked us!
Oseary Drakoulias: Let's not cast stones at one another, my dear.

Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
Ned Plimpton: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?

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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Quotes

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.

Steve Zissou

Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.

Steve Zissou