Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.

Alistair Hennessey: How are things going with your - what are you calling it? Leopard fish?
Steve Zissou: Jaguar shark.
Alistair Hennessey: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve Zissou: [hesitant] You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.

Ned Plimpton: Stevesy, what's going on? Are those hijackers?
Steve Zissou: Well, out here we call them "pirates," Ned.

Steve Zissou: You're supposed to be my son, right?
Ned Plimpton: I don't know. But I did want meet you, just in case.

Bill Ubell: No, Captain! That's Cedric. He's a friend.
Steve Zissou: Merci, Cedric. Remind me, we'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.

Steve Zissou: Where'd you come from? You look pregnant.
Jane Winslett-Richardson: I am pregnant. I'm not even going to ask what you men are doing out here in your matching pajamas, by the way.

Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.
Steve Zissou: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.

Steve Zissou: Esteban was eaten!
Klaus Daimler: Is he dead?
Steve Zissou: Esteban was eaten! Check the scanning monitor before it dives too deep!
Klaus Daimler: He was bitten?
Steve Zissou: Eaten!
Klaus Daimler: [shocked] He was swallowed whole?
Steve Zissou: No! Chewed!

Jane Winslett-Richardson: I need to find a baby for this father.
Steve Zissou: Yeah, I think I know what you mean.

Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No, they all share one.

Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.

Who the shit is Kingsley Zissou?

Klaus Daimler

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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Quotes

Jane Winslett-Richardson: [about her baby] In twelve years, he'll be eleven and a half.
Steve Zissou: [pause] That was my favorite age.

Ned Plimpton: Stevesy, what's going on? Are those hijackers?
Steve Zissou: Well, out here we call them "pirates," Ned.