Ed Hocken: You haven't shot anybody in six months.
Frank Drebin: That's true. Funny how you miss the little things.

Rocco Dillon: Any last words before I throw you off?
Jane Spencer: Yes. Don't do it.

They're going to blow that place sky high. It'll be a tragedy. Unless it's during a dance number.

Frank Drebin

Hey! You call this slop? Real slop has got chunks in it! This is more like gruel! And this Chateau le Blanc '68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled! This is room temperature! What do you think we are, animals?

Frank Drebin

Ed Hocken: We heard about you and Jane.
Frank Drebin: Jane, Jane. That name will always remind me of her.

Cheer up, Ed. This is not goodbye. It's just I won't ever see you again.

Frank Drebin

Well... We shot a lot of people together. It's been great. But today I retire, so if I do any shooting now, it'll have to be within the confines of my own home. Hopefully, an intruder and not an in-law, like at my bachelor party.

Frank Drebin

Papshmir: My people are very upset.
Muriel Dillon: They're always upset. They're Arab terrorists.

Muriel Dillon: How's my little boy? Getting along OK, sweetie?
Rocco Dillon: As well as a heterosexual can in prison. I don't know how much longer I can take it. How's Tanya?
Muriel Dillon: Tanya's the same. Milky, creamy skin, pouting red lips, firm buttocks, ample breasts, ears you want to stick your tongue into.
Rocco Dillon: Ma, please. I'm gonna get guy cramps if you keep this up.

Rocco Dillon: Where's your prison number?
Frank Drebin: It's unlisted.

Ed Hocken: You might end up dead!
Frank Drebin: "You might end up dead" is my middle name.
Ed Hocken: What about Jane?
Frank Drebin: I don't know her middle name.

[Jane catches Frank kissing Tanya]
Jane Spencer: How could you!
Tanya Peters: Well, you just shove your tongue as far down his throat as you can.

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The Naked Gun 33 1/3 Quotes

[Frank offers Tanya a cigarette]
Frank Drebin: Cigarette?
Tanya Peters: Yes, I know.

Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Frank Drebin