Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed.

Prince Humperdinck: Surrender.
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Miracle Max

There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

Westley

Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world - except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.... mmm... they're so perky, I love that.

Miracle Max

Westley: Look. Are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.


Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Westley: Why can't I move? Why am I up against this wall?
Fezzik: You've been mostly dead all day!

Westley: You've done nothing but sword-play?
Inigo Montoya: More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been 20 years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.

Inconceivable.

Vizzini

Fezzik: Inigo?
Inigo Montoya: What?
Fezzik: I hope we win.

Westley: Give us the gate key.
Yellin: I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin: Oh, you mean *this* gate key.

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The Princess Bride Quotes

Westley: We are men of action, lies do not become us.
Count Rugen: Well spoken, sir.
Westley: [stares]
Count Rugen: What is it?
Westley: You have six fingers on your right hand. Someone was looking for-
Count Rugen: [knocks him out]

Westley: Oh, what I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.
Inigo Montoya: There, we cannot help you.
Fezzik: [pulls out a cloak] Will this do?
Inigo Montoya: Where did you get that?
Fezzik: At Miracle Max's. It fit so nice, he said I could keep it.