Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed.

There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

Westley

Westley: Look. Are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.

Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?

Prince Humperdinck: Surrender.
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

Buttercup: You mock my pain.
Westley: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.


Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Westley: You've done nothing but sword-play?
Inigo Montoya: More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been 20 years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.

Westley: Why can't I move? Why am I up against this wall?
Fezzik: You've been mostly dead all day!

Inconceivable.

Vizzini

My. You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday.

Count Rugen

Westley: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you... are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

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The Princess Bride Quotes

Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! [stops suddently, drops dead]

Westley: Oh, what I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.
Inigo Montoya: There, we cannot help you.
Fezzik: [pulls out a cloak] Will this do?
Inigo Montoya: Where did you get that?
Fezzik: At Miracle Max's. It fit so nice, he said I could keep it.