Stanley Goodspeed: You know how this shit works?
Captain Darrow: [draws his knife] You know how THIS shit works?
Stanley Goodspeed: Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Stan Goodspeed, FBI. Uh... let's talk music. Do you like the Elton John song "Rocket Man."
Captain Darrow: I don't like soft-ass shit!
Stanley Goodspeed: Oh, oh, you don't, oh... well, I only bring it up because, uh, it's you. You're the rocket man!
[He hits the firing switch, Darrow screams as the rocket takes off, spearing him in the chest]
Stanley Goodspeed: How do you like how THAT SHIT WORKS!?

Stanley Goodspeed: Shoot him, not the rockets!
John Mason: Any other news, professor?

Stanley Goodspeed: You're not leaving! There's a madman in there with his hand on a... ON A BUTTON!
John Mason: Shh!
[to himself]
John Mason: Some sniper's gonna get his ass.

Ladies and gentlemen, you're being detained against your will, and for that I apologize. It is not our intention in any way to harm you, and you will not be detained one minute longer than is necessary for us to complete our mission.

General Hummel

Stanley Goodspeed: How'd you do it?
John Mason: Nurtured the hope that there was hope. That one day I'd breathe free air. Perhaps meet my daughter. Modest hopes, but they kept a man alive.

Damn it, you're on a need-to-know basis, and you don't need to know.

Womack

In my day, we did it all with a snorkel and flippers.

John Mason

Stanley Goodspeed: Mason, you all right?
John Mason: [hanging upside down] Yes. Perfectly okay, you fucking idiot.

Agent Paxton: What's status?
Stanley Goodspeed: Status... is, they're dead. They're dead! It's just me and Mason, now he says he's leaving.
Agent Paxton: That is unacceptable, do you hear me? Unacceptable!
Stanley Goodspeed: Well, there's a problem sir, he's got a gun!
Agent Paxton: What do you have, a fuckin' water pistol?

Womack! Why am I not surprised? You piece of shit!

John Mason

Kid On Bike: Hey man, you just fucked up your Ferrari!
Stanley Goodspeed: It's not mine. Neither's this.
[steals bike]

What do you say we cut the chit-chat, a-hole?

Stanley Goodspeed

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The Rock Quotes

How, in the name of Zeus's butthole, did you get out of your cell?

Stanley Goodspeed

Commander Anderson: Have you ever been in a combat situation?
Stanley Goodspeed: Define combat, sir.
Commander Anderson: Shep.
Lt. Shephard: An incursion underwater to retake an impregnable fortress held by an elite team of U.S. Marines in possession of 81 hostages and 15 guided rockets armed with VX poison gas.
Stanley Goodspeed: Oh. In that case, no, sir. Excuse me.
[runs, vomits]