General Hummel: Where're the guidance chips?
John Mason: I destroyed them.
General Hummel: That's a bad move, soldier!
John Mason: Does that mean you'll execute us both?

Honey? Uh... You wanna know who really killed JFK?

Stanley Goodspeed

Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: Southern China? We've never even admitted we sent troops into China!
General Hummel: Who is this? Identify yourself!
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: This is White House Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair, General.
General Hummel: How OLD are you Mr. Sinclair?
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: I'm 33.
General Hummel: Well Mr. Sinclair, you've probably got no FUCKING idea what I'm talking about! By your 9th birthday, I was running BlackOps into China and my men were responsible for over 200 enemy kills! Now someone put some friggin tape over Mr. Sinclair's mouth, he's wasting my time!

I'm fed up with saving your ass. I'm amazed you made it past puberty.

John Mason

Stanley Goodspeed: How do you... do it?
John Mason: I was trained by the best. British intelligence. But in retrospect I would rather have been a poet. Or a farmer.
Stanley Goodspeed: Okay.

Thank you very fucking much, Mr. Mason, you've led us into a room with no exit.

Commander Anderson

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The Rock Quotes

How, in the name of Zeus's butthole, did you get out of your cell?

Stanley Goodspeed

Commander Anderson: Have you ever been in a combat situation?
Stanley Goodspeed: Define combat, sir.
Commander Anderson: Shep.
Lt. Shephard: An incursion underwater to retake an impregnable fortress held by an elite team of U.S. Marines in possession of 81 hostages and 15 guided rockets armed with VX poison gas.
Stanley Goodspeed: Oh. In that case, no, sir. Excuse me.
[runs, vomits]