Stanley Goodspeed: You enjoying this?
John Mason: Well, it's certainly more enjoyable than my average day... reading philosophy, avoiding gang rape in the washrooms... though, it's less of a problem these days. Maybe I'm losing my sex appeal.

Major Tom Baxter: I thought you weren't ready to kill.
General Hummel: I'm warmin' up.

Stanley Goodspeed: I'm unarmed sir. I am unarmed, sir.
Womack: Where's your issue?
Stanley Goodspeed: I left in my, uh, in my... my sock drawer.
FBI Agent Hunt: A gun? For what? You're a chemical freak!
Stanley Goodspeed: Heh. A chemical superfreak, actually, but I still need a gun.
Agent Paxton: Give him a god damn gun.

Stanley Goodspeed: You mean I'm going out there, under the water?
Womack: Earlier, you wanted a gun. Now you're getting a gun and a wet suit.

John Mason: I'm sure all this will make a great bed time story to tell your kid.
Stanley Goodspeed: You're insane, Mason. The kid'll have nightmares. I'll spend all my money on shrinks.

John Mason: Are you sure you're ready for this?
Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
John Mason: Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.
John Mason: Really?
Stanley Goodspeed: [cocks his gun] Yeah.

What kind of a fucked up tour is this?

Tourist

John Mason: You have an emergency.
Stanley Goodspeed: Right.
John Mason: And you need my help.
Stanley Goodspeed: Exactly right.
John Mason: Coffee.
Stanley Goodspeed: No, I'm fine, thank you.
John Mason: Offer ME coffee.

Stanley Goodspeed: Hi, I'm an agent with the federal... FBI... Well, my... I'm Stanley Goodspeed!
John Mason: But of course you are.
Agent Paxton: Well, at least he got his name right.
Stanley Goodspeed: Of course I am.

I love pressure. I eat it for breakfast.

Stanley Goodspeed

Commander Anderson: Sir, we know why you're out here. God knows, I agree with you. But like you, I swore to defend this country against all enemies, foreign, sir... and domestic. General, we've spilled the same blood in the same mud. And you know god damn well I can't give that order.
Navy SEAL: We're dead!
General Hummel: Your unit is covered from an elevated position, Commander. I'm not gonna ask you again. Don't do anything stupid. No-one has to die here.
Commander Anderson: You men following the General: you're under oath as United States Marines, have you forgotten that? We all have shipmates we remember, some of them were shit on and pissed on by the Pentagon. But that doesn't give you the right to mutiny!
General Hummel: You call it what you want! You're down there, we're up here! You walked into the wrong goddamn room, Commander!

General Hummel: Major Anderson, if you have any concern for the lives of your men, you will order them to safety their weapons and place them on the deck.
Agent Paxton: This is not happening...

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The Rock Quotes

How, in the name of Zeus's butthole, did you get out of your cell?

Stanley Goodspeed

Commander Anderson: Have you ever been in a combat situation?
Stanley Goodspeed: Define combat, sir.
Commander Anderson: Shep.
Lt. Shephard: An incursion underwater to retake an impregnable fortress held by an elite team of U.S. Marines in possession of 81 hostages and 15 guided rockets armed with VX poison gas.
Stanley Goodspeed: Oh. In that case, no, sir. Excuse me.
[runs, vomits]