Chas: Looks like you and Dad are back together again, huh.
Richie: He's your dad too, Chas.
Chas: No, he's not.
Richie: Yes, he is.
Chas: You really hate me, don't you?
Richie: No. I don't. I love you.
Chas: Well, I don't know what you think you're gonna get out of this, but believe me, whatever it is, it's not worth it.
Richie: Chas. I don't want to hurt you. I know what you and the boys have been through. You're my brother and I love you.
Chas: Stop saying that!

Royal: What the hell kind of way to act is that?
Richie: He's on drugs.

She's balling Eli Cash.


Richie: Are we still friends?
Eli: What?
Richie: Are we?
Eli: Of course. How can you even ask me that?
Richie: Doesn't matter.
Eli: Doesn't matter? It does matter.
Richie: I heard about you and Margot.
Eli: [long pause] I'm sorry.

Raleigh: Do you have an alternate?
Priest: No.
Raleigh: Are there priests on call?

Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone's NOT a genius? Do you especially think I'm NOT a genius? You didn't even have to think about it, did you?


Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.


Raleigh: You made a cuckold of me.
Margot: I know.
Raleigh: Many times over.
Margot: So sorry.

Royal: The past six days have been the best six days of probably my whole life.
Narrator: Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized that it was true.

Richie: Is it because of us?
Royal: Well, of course, certain sacrifices had to be made as a result of having children. But heavens, no.

Raleigh: Are you ever coming home?
Margot: Maybe not.
Raleigh: Well I want to die.

Etheline Tenenbaum: Chas? What's going on?
Chas: We got locked out of our apartment.
Etheline Tenenbaum: Well, did you call a locksmith?
Chas: Uh huh.
Etheline Tenenbaum: Well, I don't understand. Did you pack your bags BEFORE you got locked out?

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The Royal Tenenbaums Quotes

You wanna talk some jive? I'll talk some jive. I'll talk some jive like you've never heard!


Ethel: How long have you been a smoker?
Margot: 22 years.
Ethel: Well I think you should quit.