Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers and hittin' the cemetery?

Richie: Did you say you were on Mescaline?
Eli: I did indeed. Very much so.

Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine.

Royal: Everyone's against me.
Pagoda: It's your fault, man.
Royal: I know but dammit, I want this family to love me. How much money you got?
Pagoda: I don't have.
Royal: What? You're broke? You gotta be kidding me! How are we gonna pay for this room?

Royal: Chas, let me finish here. I've got six weeks to set things right with you and I aim to do it. Will you give me a chance?
Chas: No?
Royal: Do you speak for everyone?
Chas: I speak for myself.

Four minutes, forty-eight seconds. We're all dead. Burned to a crisp.


Let's shag ass.

Uzi Tenenbaum: Who's your father?
Chas: His name is Royal Tenenbaum.
Ari: You told us he was already dead.
Chas: Yeah, well now he's really dying.

Eli: I'm very sorry, Margot.
Margot: It's okay. We're not actually related anyway.
Eli: True.

Richie: Did you tell Margot about that letter I wrote to you?
Eli: Why? Did she mention it? Yes, I did. Why would she repeat that?
Richie: I would ask you the same question.

Ethel: What are you talking about?
Chas: The apartment. I have to get some new sprinklers and a back-up security system installed.
Ethel: But there are no sprinklers here either.
Chas: We might have to do something about that too.

Eli: What'd you say?
Richie: Hmm? I didn't say anything.
Eli: When? Right now?

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The Royal Tenenbaums Quotes

You wanna talk some jive? I'll talk some jive. I'll talk some jive like you've never heard!


Ethel: How long have you been a smoker?
Margot: 22 years.
Ethel: Well I think you should quit.