State Trooper: [sobbing] Please! I have a wife and kids.
Thelma: Oh really, well, you're lucky. You be sweet to them, especially your wife. My husband wasn't sweet to me. Look how I turned out.

Thelma: Louise, shoot the radio
Louise: [she fires at the radio]
Thelma: The POLICE radio, Louise!

J.D.: So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean God gets you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.
Thelma: Well, Daryl, that's my husband.
J.D.: Daryl?
Thelma: Yeah, he says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile.
Louise: He's got a lot to be proud of.
Thelma: Louise and him don't get along.
Louise: That's putting it mildly.
Thelma: She thinks he's a pig.
Louise: I KNOW he's a pig.

In the future, when a woman is crying like that, she isn't having any fun.

Louise Sawyer

Louise: Get off her or I'm gonna splatter your brains all over this nice car.
Harlan: [Getting off of Thelma] Easy, we're just having a little fun.
Louise: Sounds like you got a real fucked up idea of fun. Turn around. In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!
Harlan: Bitch! I shoulda gone ahead and fucked her!
Louise: Why did you say?
Harlan: I said suck my cock.

You shoot off a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas ain't the place you want to get caught.

Louise Sawyer

Is he your husband or your father?

Louise Sawyer

Louise Sawyer: You mean you haven't asked him yet? Thelma, for Christ's sake. Thelma, is he your husband, or your father. It's just two days for God's sake. Don't be a child. Tell him you're with me. [grins] Tell him I'm having a nervous breakdown.
Thelma Dickerson: That don't carry much weight with Darryl. He already thinks you're out of your mind.

Darryl: [phone rings] Hello?
Thelma: Darryl, it's me.
Darryl: [sounding cheerful] Thelma! Hello!
Thelma: [hangs up] He knows.
Louise: Shit!

Darryl: [phone rings again] Yep?
Louise Sawyer: Darryl, this is Louise. Lemme talk to the police.
Darryl: Hey Louise!
Louise Sawyer: Hi. Lemme talk to the police.
Darryl: [so sarcastically, it exposes their cover] What? What are you talking about, there's no police here.

You finally got laid properly, I'm so proud.

Louise Sawyer

You said you 'n' me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well darlin', look out 'cause my hair is comin' down!

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Thelma & Louise Quotes

In the future, when a woman is crying like that, she isn't having any fun.

Louise Sawyer

J.D.: So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean God gets you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.
Thelma: Well, Daryl, that's my husband.
J.D.: Daryl?
Thelma: Yeah, he says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile.
Louise: He's got a lot to be proud of.
Thelma: Louise and him don't get along.
Louise: That's putting it mildly.
Thelma: She thinks he's a pig.
Louise: I KNOW he's a pig.