You shoot off a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas ain't the place you want to get caught.

Louise Sawyer

Is he your husband or your father?

Louise Sawyer

Louise Sawyer: You mean you haven't asked him yet? Thelma, for Christ's sake. Thelma, is he your husband, or your father. It's just two days for God's sake. Don't be a child. Tell him you're with me. [grins] Tell him I'm having a nervous breakdown.
Thelma Dickerson: That don't carry much weight with Darryl. He already thinks you're out of your mind.

Darryl: [phone rings] Hello?
Thelma: Darryl, it's me.
Darryl: [sounding cheerful] Thelma! Hello!
Thelma: [hangs up] He knows.
Louise: Shit!

Darryl: [phone rings again] Yep?
Louise Sawyer: Darryl, this is Louise. Lemme talk to the police.
Darryl: Hey Louise!
Louise Sawyer: Hi. Lemme talk to the police.
Darryl: [so sarcastically, it exposes their cover] What? What are you talking about, there's no police here.

You finally got laid properly, I'm so proud.

Louise Sawyer

You said you 'n' me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well darlin', look out 'cause my hair is comin' down!

Certain words and phrases just keep drifting through my mind, things like, incarceration, cavity search, death by electrocution, life in prison, shit like that, know what I'm sayin', so do I want to come out alive...

Louise Sawyer

You've always been crazy, this is just the first chance you've had to express yourself.

Louise Sawyer

You get what you settle for.

Louise Sawyer

You could park a car in the shadow of his ass.

Thelma: But, umm, I don't know, you know, something's, like, crossed over in me and I can't go back, I mean I just couldn't live.
Louise Sawyer: I know, I know what you mean. Anyway, don't wanna end up on the damned Geraldo show.

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Thelma & Louise Quotes

In the future, when a woman is crying like that, she isn't having any fun.

Louise Sawyer

J.D.: So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean God gets you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.
Thelma: Well, Daryl, that's my husband.
J.D.: Daryl?
Thelma: Yeah, he says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile.
Louise: He's got a lot to be proud of.
Thelma: Louise and him don't get along.
Louise: That's putting it mildly.
Thelma: She thinks he's a pig.
Louise: I KNOW he's a pig.