Boy, don't make me open up a can of whoop-ass!

Mary's Stepfather

Have you ever had a whitehead on your eyeball, Mary?

Dom

Ted: [narrating] From that point on, the guys looked at me in a completely different light.
High School Pal: You're a fuckin' liar!

I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

Ted

Husband... negative. Children and a Labrador... negative. Tight little package... affirmative.

Pat Healy

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There's Something About Mary Quotes

Boy, don't make me open up a can of whoop-ass!

Mary's Stepfather

We got a bleeder!

Paramedic