Popular Tommy Boy Quotes
Tommy: Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?
Mr. Brady, Customer: [confused] What? I'm failing to make the connection here.
Tommy: No, I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.
Hey, there's even a fridge! You could put six packs of be..... [glances at his dad] ... soda in here!
You're right! You're not your dad! He could sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves!Richard Hayden
Tommy: Hmmm. He seems like a nice guy.
Richard Hayden: This is the guy trying to buy the company, not to mention put you out on the street, and all you can say is, "Hmmm, he seems like a nice guy!"
Gas Station Employee: I'm picking up your sarcasm.
Richard Hayden: Well, I should hope so, because I'm laying it on pretty thick.
Listen up, you little spazoids. I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear to everything holy that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you.Michelle
Richard Hayden: That guy may not call us.
Tommy: I can't believe he called me a psycho.
Richard Hayden: Hey, were you in there just now? You are a psycho... Good God. And comb your hair.
It's called reading! Top to bottom, left to right... a group of words together is called a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches... Midol for any cramps.Richard Hayden
Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.Richard Hayden
Ted Nelson, Customer: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?
Tommy: Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me.
Ted Nelson, Customer: [pause] Okay, I'll buy from you.
Tommy: Well, that's ...
Richard Hayden: ...What?
D+?... Oh, my God... I passed! I passed! Oh, man! I got a D+! I'm gonna graduate! [hugs a stranger] I wish we'd known each other... this is a little awkward.
Richard Hayden: No way that just happened. My car is completely destroyed.
Tommy: I swear I've seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that... was... AWESOME!! ... but, sorry about your car, man. That... That sucks.