When I was growing up, if we wanted a Jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub.

Billy Ray

Billy Ray Valentine: What if I can't do this job, Coleman? What if I'm not what they expected?
Coleman: Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.

Hey that's the motherf- I mean... that's the gentleman that had me busted.

Billy Ray Valentine

[Ophelia notices Louis watching her undress] By the way, food and rent are not the only things around here that cost money, you sleep on the couch.

Ophelia

That's called the quart of blood technique... you do that and a quart of blood will come out a guy

Billy Ray Valentine

This an outrage! I demand a full investigation!

Mortimer Duke

Billy Ray Valentine: You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barrelled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.
Louis Winthorpe III: Why not?
Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.
Louis Winthorpe III: Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Coleman: You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.

Louis Winthorpe III: Randolph. Mortimer.
Mortimer Duke: Winthorpe, my boy, what have you got for us?
Louis Winthorpe III: Well, it's that time of the month again. Payroll checks for our employees, which require your signatures. And no forgetting to sign the big ones!
Mortimer Duke: We seem to be paying some of our employees an awful lot of money.
Louis Winthorpe III: [laughs] Can't get around the old minimum wage, Mortimer.

Billy Ray Valentine: You can't go around shooting people in the kneecaps just because your pissed at them.
Louis Winthorpe III: Why not?

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Trading Places Quotes

Louis Winthorpe III: Nenge? Nenge Mboko? It is me, Lionel Joseph!
Billy Ray Valentine: Lionel! From the African Education Conference!
Louis Winthorpe III: Yah, mon, I was Director of Cultural Activities at the Haile Selassie Pavilion.
Billy Ray Valentine: I remember the pavilion - we had big fun there!
Both: Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah! Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah!
Billy Ray Valentine: Oh, memories!

That's called the quart of blood technique... you do that and a quart of blood will come out a guy

Billy Ray Valentine