What happened... was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's different?

Jake

Jake Hoyt: That's street justice.
Alonzo Harris: What's wrong with street justice?
Jake Hoyt: Oh, what, so just let the animals wipe themselves out, right?
Alonzo Harris: God willing. Fuck 'em, and everybody that looks like 'em.

It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.

Alonzo Harris

Alonzo Harris: You got a kid, right?
Jake Hoyt: Yeah, I got a little girl.
Alonzo Harris: I've got five. All boys. You ever need a son, you let me know. I'll hook your old lady up. I can't miss.
Jake Hoyt: Can we not talk about my family?
Alonzo Harris: That's cool, I respect that. I remember what it was to have a pretty young bride. You probably still fuck her face to face, don't you?

Yeah, you dead now. Turn down drugs to a dealer and the police chief is handing your wife a crisp flag. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Alonzo Harris

Believe it or not, I do try to do some good in the community.

Alonzo Harris

Shit, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me.

Alonzo Harris

Alonzo Harris: No, not your story. A story. Because you can't keep your mouth shut long enough for me to read my paper. Tell me a story.
Jake Hoyt: I don't think I know any stories.
Alonzo Harris: You don't know any stories? Okay, I'll tell you a story. This is a newspaper. It's 90 per cent bullshit, but it's entertaining. That's why I read it, because it entertains me. You won't let me read it, so you entertain me with your bullshit. Tell me a story, right now.

You got the right to be bitch-slapped.

Smiley

Oh, you federally fucked now.

Alonzo Harris

Take that dick and stick it up that funky little ass of yours, bitch. Damn, I'm thirsty.

Alonzo Harris

Now, whenever you think of pullin' the trigger, you think of him first. 'Cuz if you don't, he'll snatch your fuckin' nuts out and use 'em for dice.

Alonzo Harris

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Training Day Quotes

To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

Alonzo Harris

You *know* I'm surgical with this bitch, Jake. How do you want it, dog? Closed casket? Remember that fool in the wheelchair? How do you think he got there?

Alonzo Harris