Tugg Speedman: Now, let's go get those Viet Congs.
[cocks his gun]
Alpa Chino: "Viet Cong!"
Tugg Speedman: What?
Alpa Chino: It's "viet cong." There's no "s," it's already plural. You wouldn't say "Chineses..."

Cover me, Dicklips!

Kirk Lazarus

Kirk Lazarus: [to Tugg Speedman] Huh! What do you mean "You People?"
Alpa Chino: [stares at Lazarus, and then gets angry] What do you mean "You People?"
Kirk Lazarus: What?

That's C-4, man.


Same thing happened to me. They found me in a back alley when I thought I was Neil Armstrong and was trying to reenter the Earth's atmosphere in a refrigerator box.

Kirk Lazarus

Tugg Speedman: This is insane. Are you telling me you're quitting the movie? We're supposed to be a unit!
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.

That's C-4, dipshit. Put that back. I said a detonator! I need some dudes who speak American god dammit! He's making a fucking sweater here, I'm tryin' to put tiger bomb on this jungle's nuts.


Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.

Kirk Lazarus

Yo asshole! This motha' fucka's dead. Ain't no Chris Angel Mindfreak, David Blane trapdoor horse shit jumpin' off here!

Kirk Lazarus

[heading towards an ox] I need to bite its hide... and wear its stomach like a unitard.

Jeff Portnoy

Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never do a full retard.
Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?
Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.

Kirk Lazarus: Action Jackson can't cry, that's what's going down.
Tugg Speedman: You know what Kirk, I'm ready to do the scene!
Kirk Lazarus: Now it's time to flip the script! I'm gonna have to wait till Chinese New Year for my man to cry.

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Tropic Thunder Quotes

I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!

Kirk Lazarus

Tyra Banks: You're not married, you're on the wrong side of 40, and child-less. Somebody close to you said: One more flop, and it's over.
Tugg Speedman: [pause] Somebody said they were close to me?