Same thing happened to me. They found me in a back alley when I thought I was Neil Armstrong and was trying to reenter the Earth's atmosphere in a refrigerator box.

Kirk Lazarus

Alpa Chino: That's the theme song for the Jeffersons!
Kirk Lazarus: Just because it's a theme song doesn't make it any less true.

Tugg Speedman: This is insane. Are you telling me you're quitting the movie? We're supposed to be a unit!
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.

That's C-4, dipshit. Put that back. I said a detonator! I need some dudes who speak American god dammit! He's making a fucking sweater here, I'm tryin' to put tiger bomb on this jungle's nuts.

Cody

Les Grossman: No, fuckhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: I wouldn't do that.
Les Grossman: I'm kidding.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Ah, there he is! funny. You're a funny guy.
Les Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.

Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.

Kirk Lazarus

Byong: We have not yet received payment. Price now 100 million, or Simple Jack dies.
Les Grossman: Okay, let me get this straight. You want 100 million... oh wait, I have a better idea. How about I send you a hobo's dick cheese?

Yo asshole! This motha' fucka's dead. Ain't no Chris Angel Mindfreak, David Blane trapdoor horse shit jumpin' off here!

Kirk Lazarus

I don't wanna die like Hendrix man!

Jeff Portnoy

[heading towards an ox] I need to bite its hide... and wear its stomach like a unitard.

Jeff Portnoy

Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never do a full retard.
Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?
Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.

Let's face it, the kids aren't exactly dressing up as The Scorcher for Purim anymore.

Les Grossman

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Tropic Thunder Quotes

I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!

Kirk Lazarus

[as Simple Jack] Mama, I'll see you again tonight in my head movies. But this head movies makes my eyes rain!

Tugg Speedman