I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake!

Gwen, good of you to come. Now take off your clothes. It is the naked mile run.

Is that all you people think about? Getting fucked up?

Taj

Is that all you people think about? Now, I admit I applied for this job because I wanted to cut loose and shake my romp, but I belive that this dilema cannot be solved by partying.

Taj

You have shown me a live I could only dream about back home by masturbating in my father's woodshed.

Taj

All this time I thought I was more to you than a flaccid story.

Dinner for two. Clothing optional.

Hey look. I read the damn article all right. But don't tell anyone because if word gets out that I read my reputation shot to hell.

Taj: Doesn't she have a boyfriend?
Van Wilder: Details. Only details.

If Milty Mingleton can shove himself into that weenie bikini, then you don't need to be shy about making your donations to the swim team.

We'll be accepting donations in the form of cash, visa, and full frontal nudity.

Vance Wilder, Sr.: Where can I find Van Wilder?
Wasted Guy: In the Guinness Book of World-fucking-Records, man... under "Raddest Fucking Dude Alive"!
Vance Wilder, Sr.: Ok. Thanks.
Wasted Guy: In any one of these three rooms, Gramps.

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Van Wilder Quotes

Her name's Naomi. That's "I moan" backwards.

Van Wilder

Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.

Van Wilder