It's a strip club, man. I'm here to work!

Billy Bob

I don't want your life!


Your daddy was a no-talent pussy, but at least he listened!

Coach Bud Kilmer

Jonathan Moxon your are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your clothes and get in the car.

Charlie Tweeder

Miss Davis: Can anyone tell me a common slang term for the male erection?
Student: Boner? Is boner one?
Miss Davis: Yes! Boner is good, boner is very good!

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Varsity Blues Quotes

Charlie Tweeder: Will you listen to me? Bitches are all just panty droppers. You understand? That's it.
Mox: What?
Charlie Tweeder: Listen. You give 'em Percocet, two Vicoden and a couple of beers, and the panties drop. It's very nice.
Mox: [laughing] It's nice.
Charlie Tweeder: [emphatically] It's nice.
Mox: Tweeder, you think you'll enjoy prison?
Charlie Tweeder: [not paying attention] I don't know.
[looks up]
Charlie Tweeder: What?

You got to be the dumbest smart kid I know.

Coach Bud Kilmer