Ringo Starr: I've got a song about an octopus.
John Lennon: 'I've got a song about an octupus'. Why don't you jam it up your ass?

Dewey Cox: Maybe you don't believe in me at all.
Edith: I do believe in you
[pause]
Edith: I just know you're gonna fail.

...and remember it doesn't say Cox, unless I say it tastes like Cox.

Dewey Cox

Dewey Cox: [singing] In my dreams, you're blowing me... some kisses.
Darlene: [singing] That's one of my favorite things to do.

Let's go play machete fight. Ain't no terrible tradgedy's gonna happen today!

Nate

Dewey Cox: [to his mother] All I need is my music and someday, I'll make my masterpiece.
Dewey's Dad: The wrong kid died.
Dewey Cox: You see that, Momma? That was just unnecessary.

With meditation, there's no limit to what you can... Imagine.

John Lennon

[to his pet chimpanzee] I've had it with all this crap! All you care about is fruit and touching yourself. Well, fuck you!

Dewey Cox

Dewey Cox: Thank you, Elvis Presley!
Elvis Presley: [mumbles somthing incoherently and indecipherable, then leaves]
Dewey Cox: What the fuck was he talking about?

Dewey Cox: I have a lot of pain in me.
Darlene: Where does all that pain come from, Dewey?
Dewey Cox: I cut my brother in half with a machete.
Darlene: [shocked] What?
Dewey Cox: Nothin', nothin'. Let's get some food, come on.

Edith: It's against the law to be married to two people at the same time!
Dewey Cox: What about if, if you're famous?

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Walk Hard Quotes

Dewey Cox: [singing] In my dreams, you're blowing me... some kisses.
Darlene: [singing] That's one of my favorite things to do.

...and remember it doesn't say Cox, unless I say it tastes like Cox.

Dewey Cox